Sometimes, as adults, we do not realize how much a social life outside of our home is important to our every day life. Today, I realized just how much it is needed along with how essential it is for children.
So far, I have talked a little about my son and daughter. Both are great kids but sometimes I wonder how much I can honestly take. I wonder also, how in the world did my step-mother and father deal with myself, my brother and my two children. I can say this for sure, my step-mother has the patience of a saint and a heart bigger than the universe.
Growing up, I did not have a typical childhood. No toys to play with really. I did have a ton of books to keep my mind always on the go and active. I loved mysteries the most and still do (Nancy Drew wanna be here). I basically helped around the house and helped take care of my grandmother who raised me until I was a teenager. My life basically consisted of going to school, eating, sleeping and swimming or tennis. I didn't really have friends, I didn't have birthday parties, sleep overs, play dates, etc.... I was kept away from everyone else in a sense. Was is right? Maybe and maybe not. I was like any other typical child though with the cravings for attention and affection; unfortunately, those pleas fell on deaf ears.
When I lived with my step-mother and father when I turned 15, life changed. I had to share things; I had to eat more than just cereal, tuna and fruit; I couldn't just get on my bike and go to the pool or tennis court; and, most of all, I could not seclude myself socially. My step-family is extremely social, in your face, stuff till you fluff (Italians) kind of people. There is no such thing as a secret or as no one but you and one other person knowing. If one in the family knew, they all knew.
Now, my husband...he is the exact opposite of me. He had the "Norman Rockwell" life. Whatever he wanted he could have had but his parents didn't believe in spoiling the children. His parents really didn't know how to show affection so that was estranged in his adolescent years. He loved his books and he's an almost genius by testing IQ standards. To him, being alone is the best thing around. He is also borderline agoraphobic. He has social anxiety and so far, no amount of medications are helping him. He can handle the kids to a point but there are times, like ALL parents get now and again, where we needs space and our own "time outs".
Now, I love social situations but I can live without for a while also. My daughter, whom I have spoken of recently, has a friend that will be leaving the states for a month to visit her family. My daughter is basically devastated. It's like her whole world is going to collapse on top of her. And, as it is, my daughter has her own emotional challenges. For the last few days, her friend has not been able to play and this has put my little girl in a spiral. Finally, after talking to the other mother, we were able to get the girls together. Needless to say, they were both ecstatic about it. Then, when my munchkin came home from the other house, I said I was contemplating a sleepover for the girls. She instantly broke down into tears. Equally as quick, as I saw the eyes turn into little hazel pools of salt water, I felt my heart sink. Apparently, the other mother was going out for a while. So, to make my little girl happy again (I will do anything in my power to make that smile appear), I called the other parent and said that I don't mind if they have a sleepover. When she said yes, my princess started jumping up and down with joy; even ran to take a quick shower and get her room clean and ready.
Today, I realized just how important socialization can be to our survival as a race, as a species, as an individual person even. If we don't talk or involve ourselves in something other than our own closed in selves, we will most likely end up a bitter old person with a whole bunch of regrets.
One thing I love to say: "Live your life to the fullest, hug everyone you meet and tell them you love them when you leave; because you never know when the curtain may fall."
So far, I have talked a little about my son and daughter. Both are great kids but sometimes I wonder how much I can honestly take. I wonder also, how in the world did my step-mother and father deal with myself, my brother and my two children. I can say this for sure, my step-mother has the patience of a saint and a heart bigger than the universe.
Growing up, I did not have a typical childhood. No toys to play with really. I did have a ton of books to keep my mind always on the go and active. I loved mysteries the most and still do (Nancy Drew wanna be here). I basically helped around the house and helped take care of my grandmother who raised me until I was a teenager. My life basically consisted of going to school, eating, sleeping and swimming or tennis. I didn't really have friends, I didn't have birthday parties, sleep overs, play dates, etc.... I was kept away from everyone else in a sense. Was is right? Maybe and maybe not. I was like any other typical child though with the cravings for attention and affection; unfortunately, those pleas fell on deaf ears.
When I lived with my step-mother and father when I turned 15, life changed. I had to share things; I had to eat more than just cereal, tuna and fruit; I couldn't just get on my bike and go to the pool or tennis court; and, most of all, I could not seclude myself socially. My step-family is extremely social, in your face, stuff till you fluff (Italians) kind of people. There is no such thing as a secret or as no one but you and one other person knowing. If one in the family knew, they all knew.
Now, my husband...he is the exact opposite of me. He had the "Norman Rockwell" life. Whatever he wanted he could have had but his parents didn't believe in spoiling the children. His parents really didn't know how to show affection so that was estranged in his adolescent years. He loved his books and he's an almost genius by testing IQ standards. To him, being alone is the best thing around. He is also borderline agoraphobic. He has social anxiety and so far, no amount of medications are helping him. He can handle the kids to a point but there are times, like ALL parents get now and again, where we needs space and our own "time outs".
Now, I love social situations but I can live without for a while also. My daughter, whom I have spoken of recently, has a friend that will be leaving the states for a month to visit her family. My daughter is basically devastated. It's like her whole world is going to collapse on top of her. And, as it is, my daughter has her own emotional challenges. For the last few days, her friend has not been able to play and this has put my little girl in a spiral. Finally, after talking to the other mother, we were able to get the girls together. Needless to say, they were both ecstatic about it. Then, when my munchkin came home from the other house, I said I was contemplating a sleepover for the girls. She instantly broke down into tears. Equally as quick, as I saw the eyes turn into little hazel pools of salt water, I felt my heart sink. Apparently, the other mother was going out for a while. So, to make my little girl happy again (I will do anything in my power to make that smile appear), I called the other parent and said that I don't mind if they have a sleepover. When she said yes, my princess started jumping up and down with joy; even ran to take a quick shower and get her room clean and ready.
Today, I realized just how important socialization can be to our survival as a race, as a species, as an individual person even. If we don't talk or involve ourselves in something other than our own closed in selves, we will most likely end up a bitter old person with a whole bunch of regrets.
One thing I love to say: "Live your life to the fullest, hug everyone you meet and tell them you love them when you leave; because you never know when the curtain may fall."